If you know what I know, you don't wanna step to this
I know some badass women, some sweet Southern girls who aren't going to take shit off of anybody. Perfect example: Friday night, after a great dinner and a couple of bottles of wine at Tango Sur, Dutch, Mame (our friend from Athens up for the weekend) and I headed back to Dutch's place for a few more drinks. It was slow going getting back (even in a cab), with the six inches of snow on the ground and all, but we eventually made it. The cab pulled up in front of Dutch's building and almost immediately, some dipshit in an SUV pulled right up behind us and honked his horn, even though there's room to go around us. I got out of the cab (leaving the ladies to settle up with the driver), threw my hands up at the guy in a "what the fuck" sort of way and then stumbled over to the building. The guy kept honking his damn horn. Well, Mame finally got sick of it. She popped out of the cab and shouted at the guy "Hey, why don't you shut the fuck up?" Mr. Dick Face was not really prepared for this. He was hoping to impress the giggling bitches sitting in the back of his Pathfinder by being an asshole to some people in a cab. He did not expect any repercussions. After a few seconds he recovered with a witty "Why don't you shut the fuck up" and started his honking again. This is when Dutch reached her limit. After telling this douche bag to calm the fuck down a couple of times with no luck, she walked in front of car and threw the bag of her leftovers at his windshield, punctuating it with another "Calm the fuck down", and turned around and walked towards her building. This really left King Ass Hat speechless. For about five seconds he had nothing to say. When words finally did return to him, the best he could muster was a pitiful "You forgot your bag, bag lady", which he shouted as he pulled around the still parked cab. The whole scene was one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed. These are the ladies I roll with. They are awesome. To paraphrase the Wu:
If you got beef then bring the ruckus
Cause Dutch and Mame and nothin' to fuck with.
You've been warned.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Out of the loop
The other night Dutch and I watched Garden State, a movie neither one of us had seen but one that had come highly recommended by so many different people. I know this opinion isn't going to be popular around these parts, but I hated this movie. The whole thing was just one big ham-fisted, clichéd mess. All of the characters are pretty much one dimensional, except for Zach Braf's Andrew but he's just barely 2D. Even his friends Mark (Peter Sarsgard) and Sam (Natalie Portman) both feel like there's nothing beneath the surface, which is amazing considering how much screen time they have. We never get an idea of why they are the way they are or why they do the things they do. Let me give you an example of what I mean. In The Royal Tenenbaums, when Royal and Margo are at the ice cream parlor, Margo begrudgingly orders a butterscotch sundae, which is perfect for her. Margo Tenenbaum wouldn't eat hot fudge. The closest thing Garden State has to this is Mark's collection of Desert Storm trading cards. It's these types of things that make characters seem alive.
One of my biggest problems with the movie is how it wants to be deep and say profound things, but it ends up sounding like some sort of crappy motivational day calendar or Chicken Soup for the Indie Rocker's Soul. It wasn't bad enough to have the characters deliver lines comparing life to a bottomless abyss with a straight face, but to have them standing on the edge of one and shouting at it (in the rain, no less) is just too ridiculous. Why are so many hipsters falling all over themselves praising this movie? If this same scene was in some Hillary Duff movie, the snarky comments wouldn't stop. Garden State also lacks any real emotional payoff. I'm sure the scene when Andrew confronts his dad is supposed to be a powerful moment, but since we don't anything about his dad or his motivations (there's that whole one-dimensional character thing again) the confrontation doesn't really hold any weight. And please don't even talk to me about that terrible, terrible ending.
At first I thought that I was just too old for this movie. To me, Garden State seems like the next generation's Breakfast Club. But I read all these reviews that just heap praise onto this film and I start to feel like the kid who pointed out that the emperor was naked. What am I missing here? There are much better films out there that actually achieve the goals this movie shoots for. You want to see an off-beat love story with a happy ending? Rent Secretary. How about a movie that champions living life and being who you want to be? Rent Harold and Maude. Interested in a story about quirky young people trying to find themselves? Rent Almost Famous. Looking for a film with a great soundtrack? Rent any Wes Anderson film. As far as I'm concerned, your time is better spent elsewhere.
Let the hate mailing begin.
The other night Dutch and I watched Garden State, a movie neither one of us had seen but one that had come highly recommended by so many different people. I know this opinion isn't going to be popular around these parts, but I hated this movie. The whole thing was just one big ham-fisted, clichéd mess. All of the characters are pretty much one dimensional, except for Zach Braf's Andrew but he's just barely 2D. Even his friends Mark (Peter Sarsgard) and Sam (Natalie Portman) both feel like there's nothing beneath the surface, which is amazing considering how much screen time they have. We never get an idea of why they are the way they are or why they do the things they do. Let me give you an example of what I mean. In The Royal Tenenbaums, when Royal and Margo are at the ice cream parlor, Margo begrudgingly orders a butterscotch sundae, which is perfect for her. Margo Tenenbaum wouldn't eat hot fudge. The closest thing Garden State has to this is Mark's collection of Desert Storm trading cards. It's these types of things that make characters seem alive.
One of my biggest problems with the movie is how it wants to be deep and say profound things, but it ends up sounding like some sort of crappy motivational day calendar or Chicken Soup for the Indie Rocker's Soul. It wasn't bad enough to have the characters deliver lines comparing life to a bottomless abyss with a straight face, but to have them standing on the edge of one and shouting at it (in the rain, no less) is just too ridiculous. Why are so many hipsters falling all over themselves praising this movie? If this same scene was in some Hillary Duff movie, the snarky comments wouldn't stop. Garden State also lacks any real emotional payoff. I'm sure the scene when Andrew confronts his dad is supposed to be a powerful moment, but since we don't anything about his dad or his motivations (there's that whole one-dimensional character thing again) the confrontation doesn't really hold any weight. And please don't even talk to me about that terrible, terrible ending.
At first I thought that I was just too old for this movie. To me, Garden State seems like the next generation's Breakfast Club. But I read all these reviews that just heap praise onto this film and I start to feel like the kid who pointed out that the emperor was naked. What am I missing here? There are much better films out there that actually achieve the goals this movie shoots for. You want to see an off-beat love story with a happy ending? Rent Secretary. How about a movie that champions living life and being who you want to be? Rent Harold and Maude. Interested in a story about quirky young people trying to find themselves? Rent Almost Famous. Looking for a film with a great soundtrack? Rent any Wes Anderson film. As far as I'm concerned, your time is better spent elsewhere.
Let the hate mailing begin.
Monday, January 03, 2005
The Night Watch could be your life
Last Thursday, Action Pap and I traveled to one of the best dive bars I've come across in Chicago so far, a little place called the Lake View (which is next to the Burger Delights seen here). This place was classic, all wood-paneled and smoky. It has the best arcade sports game to feature a trackball (no not Golden Tee, Fraty) Capcom Bowling, in which I pulled a stunning, 10th frame comeback to triumph over Pap. The real reason to go check the place out, though, is the house band, The Night Watch (who play behind the bar, to give you an idea of the kind of place this is). The lead singer looks like a Hispanic David Crosby and the guitar player looks like the most pissed off school bus driver you've ever seen. It's the best old man cover band I've ever seen.
. . . According to Amanda, the girl who told me about the Night Watch, they used to be even better than they are now. Apparently, they used to have a different guitar player, some fifty-something guy with a sparkly guitar and matching guitar strap. I'm still unable to determine whether or not her statement is the truth or just one of those indie rock "they were better before" kind of things. She swears it's not the latter, but she looks a little shifty when she says it.
Last Thursday, Action Pap and I traveled to one of the best dive bars I've come across in Chicago so far, a little place called the Lake View (which is next to the Burger Delights seen here). This place was classic, all wood-paneled and smoky. It has the best arcade sports game to feature a trackball (no not Golden Tee, Fraty) Capcom Bowling, in which I pulled a stunning, 10th frame comeback to triumph over Pap. The real reason to go check the place out, though, is the house band, The Night Watch (who play behind the bar, to give you an idea of the kind of place this is). The lead singer looks like a Hispanic David Crosby and the guitar player looks like the most pissed off school bus driver you've ever seen. It's the best old man cover band I've ever seen.
. . . According to Amanda, the girl who told me about the Night Watch, they used to be even better than they are now. Apparently, they used to have a different guitar player, some fifty-something guy with a sparkly guitar and matching guitar strap. I'm still unable to determine whether or not her statement is the truth or just one of those indie rock "they were better before" kind of things. She swears it's not the latter, but she looks a little shifty when she says it.
More Honorable Mentions
I had a lot of extra time on my hands these past few weeks to listen to music, with all the holiday travel and all, and I've decided to add some albums to the Honorable Mentions list:
Apostle of Hustle - Folkloric Feel
Cee-Lo Green - Is the Soul Machine
Dizzee Rascal - Showtime
The Shocking Pinks - Dance the Dance Electric
And while we're at it, here's my top ten of 2004, just in case anyone missed it and gives a shit.
I had a lot of extra time on my hands these past few weeks to listen to music, with all the holiday travel and all, and I've decided to add some albums to the Honorable Mentions list:
Apostle of Hustle - Folkloric Feel
Cee-Lo Green - Is the Soul Machine
Dizzee Rascal - Showtime
The Shocking Pinks - Dance the Dance Electric
And while we're at it, here's my top ten of 2004, just in case anyone missed it and gives a shit.
Fatherly advice
My dad called me at about 11pm on New Year's Eve while I was at a friend's party to wish me a preemptive Happy New Year. Here's a little excerpt from that conversation:
My dad: Well, watch out for wild women.
Me: OK, I'll try and cut back on the whiskey to make sure I don't fall victim to their charms.
My dad: Yeah, whatever you don't drink, pour on 'em.
I am about 99.9% sure my dad has never seen Jay Z's "Big Pimpin'" video, and yet, he just conveyed the drift of it right there . My parents never cease to amaze.
My dad called me at about 11pm on New Year's Eve while I was at a friend's party to wish me a preemptive Happy New Year. Here's a little excerpt from that conversation:
My dad: Well, watch out for wild women.
Me: OK, I'll try and cut back on the whiskey to make sure I don't fall victim to their charms.
My dad: Yeah, whatever you don't drink, pour on 'em.
I am about 99.9% sure my dad has never seen Jay Z's "Big Pimpin'" video, and yet, he just conveyed the drift of it right there . My parents never cease to amaze.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)