Out of the loop

The other night Dutch and I watched Garden State, a movie neither one of us had seen but one that had come highly recommended by so many different people. I know this opinion isn't going to be popular around these parts, but I hated this movie. The whole thing was just one big ham-fisted, clichéd mess. All of the characters are pretty much one dimensional, except for Zach Braf's Andrew but he's just barely 2D. Even his friends Mark (Peter Sarsgard) and Sam (Natalie Portman) both feel like there's nothing beneath the surface, which is amazing considering how much screen time they have. We never get an idea of why they are the way they are or why they do the things they do. Let me give you an example of what I mean. In The Royal Tenenbaums, when Royal and Margo are at the ice cream parlor, Margo begrudgingly orders a butterscotch sundae, which is perfect for her. Margo Tenenbaum wouldn't eat hot fudge. The closest thing Garden State has to this is Mark's collection of Desert Storm trading cards. It's these types of things that make characters seem alive.

One of my biggest problems with the movie is how it wants to be deep and say profound things, but it ends up sounding like some sort of crappy motivational day calendar or Chicken Soup for the Indie Rocker's Soul. It wasn't bad enough to have the characters deliver lines comparing life to a bottomless abyss with a straight face, but to have them standing on the edge of one and shouting at it (in the rain, no less) is just too ridiculous. Why are so many hipsters falling all over themselves praising this movie? If this same scene was in some Hillary Duff movie, the snarky comments wouldn't stop. Garden State also lacks any real emotional payoff. I'm sure the scene when Andrew confronts his dad is supposed to be a powerful moment, but since we don't anything about his dad or his motivations (there's that whole one-dimensional character thing again) the confrontation doesn't really hold any weight. And please don't even talk to me about that terrible, terrible ending.

At first I thought that I was just too old for this movie. To me, Garden State seems like the next generation's Breakfast Club. But I read all these reviews that just heap praise onto this film and I start to feel like the kid who pointed out that the emperor was naked. What am I missing here? There are much better films out there that actually achieve the goals this movie shoots for. You want to see an off-beat love story with a happy ending? Rent Secretary. How about a movie that champions living life and being who you want to be? Rent Harold and Maude. Interested in a story about quirky young people trying to find themselves? Rent Almost Famous. Looking for a film with a great soundtrack? Rent any Wes Anderson film. As far as I'm concerned, your time is better spent elsewhere.

Let the hate mailing begin.